Lifestyle Rehabilitation Educator and Avondale Counselling student, Jo Van Der Linden shares her advice for surviving the emotional side of life in isolation.C

As we work our way through the weeks and months of Covid-19, we find ourselves living in a time we have neither experienced nor expected. It seems strange and unfamiliar. Each day brings its own challenges as we socially isolate, socially distance and do only the things we are told we can do. This in itself feels strange. The effects of this pandemic have been astronomical in terms of how it has affected people the world over. We have never seen the world stilled like this before; people, industries and countries all affected at the same time.

It’s a bit like watching a movie, except it’s in real life. We’re living it. This movie isn’t just on the television; it has pervaded our homes, our neighbourhoods, our schools and our workplaces; indeed, our very lives and relationships. No-one is immune to the effects of this virus.

The most concerning feelings most people have experienced are uncertainty and uncertainty of the future. We used to think we had certainty in our lives but now we find ourselves in a constant state of uncertainty. Most people like to feel some sense of certainty in their lives most of the time. When that certainty is hard to find it can make you feel really anxious. People have been affected in so many ways by this virus. Who would have thought that something as simple as a virus could be so impacting?

In the 14^th century, the Black Plague killed approximately 50 million people throughout the world. The Spanish Flu, in the early 20^th century, also killed at least 50 million. These pandemics were marked by the lack of hygiene, malnutrition, crowded living arrangements and poverty. It seems strange to have a pandemic in this 21^st century when the earth and all its inhabitants seem to be as advanced as they have ever been. How are we to process this paradox? Have our lifestyles been a precursor?

One of the most fascinating things about this whole situation is that the entire world has had to slow down. Pre- Covid-19 was like the “fast world”. We drove in fast traffic, we walked fast, we shopped fast, we thought fast – we were all struggling to keep up. Now that everything has slowed down, we have a chance to catch our breath. For now, we’re living in the “slow world”.

For some this slowing down is a welcome relief; for others, it’s a frightening invasion into their personal time and space that makes them feel stressed, concerned, fearful, lost and very uncertain.

There are few things we can do to change this pandemic apart from doing what the authorities tell us and keeping to ourselves, but this can make us feel like we have little control over our own lives. In order to feel as though we have some control, it may help to consider three areas where we can have an influence on our own sense of certainty. Those areas are through acknowledgement, acceptance and adapting to change.

1. Acknowledgement – when we acknowledge something, we stop trying to ignore or deny it. We give it a name, a place, a description or whatever it needs to become acknowledged. One of the ways we can add to our certainty is to acknowledge some things about Covid-19.

From the point of view of uncertainty we can say:

It was totally unexpected
It has disrupted our lives
It is a frightening experience
It has increased levels of uncertainty. Stress, anxiety, depression, grief and fearfulness have increased for many people
It is a serious world event for the many people who have been sick with the virus and for those who have lost loved ones
It has created job losses, financial insecurity and an unknown future
It has disrupted our schools, our workplaces and the places we rely on for supplies like supermarkets and shopping centres
It has brought out new and different behaviours in some people
Social distancing and social isolation, once foreign terms, have become the norm

This perspective has a lot of negative connotations. Although all of these acknowledgements are true, for some there has been a silver lining, a brighter side to the disruption.

For many, life has slowed down
By having to stop, people have experienced a new appreciation for others in their lives
Families are spending more time together
People are out exercising more regularly
Neighbourhoods are becoming more appreciative of all who live in them
There is some positive change in our communities
Large corporations have become more considerate

Not everything is bad – there are some good things coming out of this strange and scary situation. The next area we’ll consider is acceptance.

2. Acceptance – Acceptance can be a very useful attribute to help us through difficult situations. It has the benefit of calming the nervous system. Whenever we are reacting to a situation with fear and uncertainty, our fight and flight response is switched on. It is only when we stop reacting, and instead start responding to the situation, that our nervous system can slow down, switch off and calm down. The attribute of acceptance is the influence that can help us start to heal when we’ve had a particularly difficult upset.

Accepting something doesn’t mean you agree with it or think it’s acceptable. You are not giving it your nod of approval. It simply means that you are no longer going to resist it. Instead, you accept the reality of the situation and decide to work with it rather than against it. The difference between reacting and responding to any situation is accepting the situation. Before you read on, check your nervous system. How are you feeling?

In accepting Covid-19, you might think something like this:

I accept that Covid-19 is a reality in my life and my world right now
I accept that this time will pass and there will eventually be an end to this pandemic
I accept that I have had to change some of my ways to accommodate this new virus
I accept the feelings I have experienced due to Covid-19 and acknowledge that my feelings are normal for such a time as this
I accept my responsibility to isolate at home, to wash my hands and to respect the law of my country in regard to Covid-19.
I accept that I feel different about life now than I did before Covid-19
I accept that I am generally safest if I stay home and isolate
I accept this change in my life and willingly participate in this event for the safety of my fellow countrymen

Now that you’ve read these acceptances, how are you feeling?

The third area that can help to quell the feelings of uncertainty is that of adapting to something new. When we acknowledge the situation then accept its influence in our lives, adapting to the change is the way we get used to the new or temporary, normal. Adapting means being flexible, trying out new things and finding out what works. Every person in Australia and around the world is adapting right now. Adapting can be difficult, especially when it’s in relation to forced change, but once it is established, good things can come out of it. Adaptation in this circumstance has brought some surprising benefits and advantages. Maybe you have noticed these things:

People are becoming more tolerant of others
Common courtesy and friendliness are coming back
Children are spending quality time with their parents
With time to think, people are caring for others more
After living in the fast world, people are starting to prioritise by asking questions like,

“Am I doing what I really want to be doing with my life?”

“Am I doing what is best for my family?”

“Do I need to change direction?”

“What really matters to me?”

“Am I living my best life?”

“What are my values?”

Adapting gives you the flexibility to create change. Now is a great time to make new decisions about what you want in your future. Adapting can open us up to a certain amount of optimism. All is not lost. As we grow and change with the pandemic, we also have the opportunity to grow and change within ourselves.

By using these three tools of acknowledging the truth and reality of our situation, accepting it as an inevitability that we can’t control and by adapting to the changes around us, we can increase our certainty, control and calmness. This is especially true when we realize we have new options and opportunities to create changes that can work for us as we move into and toward our future.

Jo Van Der Linden is a Lifestyle Rehabilitation Educator for Holistic Healthcare Services, Tea Gardens, where she helps people improve the quality of their lives by providing nutritional and probiotic advice, personal training and NLP-based coaching and personal development. A change-agent, Jo encourages people to make changes by degrees so that lifestyle improvement is both, achievable and sustainable. A prolific writer, Jo is known for her way with words and her calming spirit. Jo came into the health industry after losing a loved one to cancer and now advocates for “Nurture by Nature” to cleanse, heal and inspire a better life for her clients. Her main interests are the connection between diet and mood, the gut-brain connection and the benefits of breaking down problems into their little pieces, sifting, shaking and then putting them back together.

An avid foodie, Jo is an accomplished food photographer and probiotic educator in the areas of raw, vegan and gluten-free foods. Her work can be seen on Instagram @ Probiotic Pantry. She is also a semi-professional singer/songwriter and the matriarch of a large tribe.Jo is available for consultations and can be contacted at Holistic Healthcare Services on 0481-282344, by email at [email protected] and on Facebook as Holistic Healthcare Services or by Skype on jovdl7