by Lara Campbell
Antiques Roadshow, hedges, crochet, sheep, and hedges were my initial thoughts on the English countryside. A place your Nanna might like to visit; where the elderly sit around in musty rooms drinking tea and critique the moistness of the lemon poppy seed muffins before they toddle off for an afternoon nap or a spot of croquet. To be quite frank, I thought it was a giant retirement village.
I was wrong.
The English countryside is not boring. In fact, I found it very pinteresting.
Here’s why:
Tea rooms: The best thing the British invented was Afternoon Tea, a meal added to the day devoted to eating and drinking sweets. Delightful. And along with this invention came scones, jam, clotted cream and cute cottages in which to consume it all. Enough said.
Bourton-on-the-Water’s Miniature Village
Shakespeare: Obviously, the English countryside could not have ever been boring because Shakespeare managed to find inspiration to write his numerous classics. A visit to Shakespeare’s Birthplace, where Elizabethan-clad hosts guide you through the places of his childhood, is a must for English/history/weird stuff enthusiasts. Warning: watch your head on the low ceilings. Unrestrained enthusiasm for Shakespeare (i.e. jumping and/or fist pumping) may be dampened by minor injuries if you are not careful.
Cycling: Inhaled too many scones? Feeling the clotted cream clotting your arteries? Perhaps a cycle around the countryside is in order. Hire a bike from the locals, grab a map and cycle to a nearby town with just as many hyphens in its name as the one you just left. Or to the nearest tea rooms.
Our cosy cottage
Novelty tourist attractions: Bourton-on-the-Water (there’s your hyphens) boasts of two major attractions: the Miniature Village (literally a mini replica of Bourton-on-the-Water. Trippy stuff) and the Cotswold Motoring Museum (a.k.a the home of Brum!). If you visit in winter, you will soon discover you have the whole place to yourself (winter is off-peak in the Cotswolds – cheaper, quieter and better).
Sleeping in: Nothing opens before 10am, so you’re not missing out on anything by hitting snooze.
Cosy cottages: Affordable, adorable, warm and local. In your classic country cottage, expect all that you would initially expect: fireplace, winding wooden staircase, quaint quilts, one of those doors where only the top half opens, and pictures of farm animals hanging on the walls. And don’t be surprised if a local pops by just to check on you… and decides to stay for tea. On our second night in our cosy cottage, a friend of the caretaker dropped over to “see how things were going” and invited herself to join us for dinner.
So when you’re sick of cities with doof-doof hostels and prison cell rooms, take the train to the country. You won’t be disappointed.
Average cost of flights from Sydney: $1800 return (London Heathrow).
Average cost of trains from London: $60 
return during off-peak (London Paddington to Moreton-in-Marsh). For bookings visit the National Rail website.
Average cost of a good B&B: $80 to $100 per night twin share. Prices vary according to the season.
Author’s Bio: Lara Campbell calls the Central Coast home where she loves beaching, waterskiing and her cat, Misty. Lara’s top bucket list items are to see the northern lights and sleep in an igloo. Studying English teaching, Lara wishes to brainwash teenagers into enjoying English. She dislikes the colour orange, mint chocolate and excessive exclamation marks!!!!!!